It’s the end of another year and time for the tradition of setting a whole new batch of resolutions that will most likely be forgotten in another two weeks. Have you ever wonder what sort of resolutions you would make once you were in the middle of the apocalypse? I guarantee they would vary a great deal from the ones you currently are planning for the upcoming year. Here’s my stab at a list of the ten best resolutions for the apocalypse.
10. Cancel my cable subscription.
9. Learn how to cook over a campfire.
8. Convince myself that my clothes aren’t dirty—they just conform to the currently popular back-to-nature fad.
7. Practice movie lines that intimidated bullies.
6. Learn to like hot summers and cold winters.
5. Make a list of acceptable substitutions for toilet paper.
4. Expand my portable entertainment library from a single book to two.
3. Make friends with a big, powerful, and benevolent warlord.
2. Write down all the survival tips from when I played Fallout.
1. Improve my personal relationship with God.